The Webcomic Watchman

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Review #43: Meet the Epic Harem Comedy Movie!

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Trust me, this LOLcat is funnier than this comic.

Title: Shonen Punk
Artist: Andy Pinkard (a.k.a. "Teh Andeh")
Genre: Harem Comedy(?)
Updates: M-W-F
Link: http://shonenpunk.com/sps2/ (current strip)
(Also, click here for the archive of the "first season" of Shonen Punk. Don't stare at it too long.)

[Ed note: Dr. Haus's brain was too far damaged to write an accurate review for this comic. So instead, we have cobbled together a transcript based on this audio cassette he happened to be carrying just before he crashed out on our couch. We have given him a large glass of ice water and are now playing the DVD box set of the entire first season of The Boondocks on the TV screen in front of him, in hopes that it will wake him from this catatonic state.]

--0:00 "Okay, I've decided to try jumping into this thing. Apparently the archive only has about 15 strips. Oh, I see, this is just a 'season 2.' I guess I should look at 'season 1' to get the story."

--1:01 "Beginning has been located. Possible artist self-insertion character, drawings look hastily cobbled together with shoddy inking, but I'll excuse it for now, as the artist is just starting."

--1:12 "Holy shit, did he just toss in random Japanese words for no reason at all? This doesn't seem right. And what the fuck kinda name is Chiitsu Pinkada?"

--1:43 "Oh God, the first female lead character has been introduced, magically appearing from a Hentai DVD. And in one brazen act of wish-fufillment, her first act is declaring she wants to jump on the main character's dick for no reason at all. In Andy's defense, she did come from a Hentai DVD, but was he really that desperate for a girlfriend? Sorry, getting off track again."

--2:55 "Her brother is a robot? Okay, that's a bit of a stretch, but my suspension of disbelief is seriously failing pretty early here."

--3:10 "A cat-girl named Neko-Chan who may or may not have the hots for that Chiitsu guy? Fuck this, I'm going to mooch some booze off my friend, and then try to tackle this review again."

--4:20 "Wait, you're telling me he plays fucking Gaia Online? No wonder he couldn't get a girl until one magically jumped out of a Hentai DVD."

--5:05 "Okay, there's a black chick, and she's tossing in random Japanese words. Something about a secret evil scientist guy too."

--5:16 "Oh, and now she wants the fat guy's cock too. Didn't think he would bother to include actual personality in any of these people."

--5:20 "Maybe it's the booze talking, but I think my brain is starting to die. Lemme just skip ahead here..."

--6:42 "Some chick obsessed with Pocky. Did this artist actually meet any women, like, in the real world? Or did he just learn everything about relationships from hentai and anime? Lemme take a shot of Jim Beam. [incomprehensible] Yes, it's for science dammit!"

--6:50 "Oh, and they're at some academy or something...but really, who gives a shit? I thought this shit was supposed to be a harem comedy, but I don't see the fucking comedy."

--6:59 "Maybe it'll get better if I scroll through to half a year..."

--7:04 "No, no it didn't."

--7:13 "Holy shit, this guy combined l33tspeak, an unnatural obsession with Pocky and big-breasted, two-dimensional women. On one page. The world really is coming to an end."

--10:22 "Look, if you're gonna reference Power Rangers, at least make it funny goddammit. Simply referencing the material doesn't make it funny. Oh he's also trapped in a MMORPG or something.

--13:00 "Wait, now it's an allegory for Chiitsu's IRL girlfriend and his [not-]Real Doll Eva fighting over him? Wow, talk about wish-fulfillment."

--15:30 "What did Ashton Kutcher say in that episode of That 70's Show? I think it was something like 'could God make a boob so big that He Himself could not fully grab it?' [inaudible] Wow, I must be drunk, cuz I'm actually laughing at a joke by Ashton Kutcher without wanting to punch him in the face! [laughter]"

--17:07 "Another girl wants to fuck the Gary Stu main character. Why don't I encounter big breasted women who want to have my babies every time I step outside, or a preteen catgirl who refers to me as 'daddy!' every few minutes? Wow, these weeaboos must have some pretty high self-esteem."

--20:01 "Wait, is that possible plot I smell? Nah, that's just cannibis."

--20:13 "Hehehe...plot! Just sounds funny. Plotplotplot."

--21:18 "Not-Zordon has returned. I'm just gonna play some Doors right now while we...I mean I smoke this bowl. There's no one else in this room except me and a nice couple who did not sell me illegal drugs and alcohol. Believe it! [laughter] ...wait a minute, that's not funny! That's not funny at all! Put on the Doors, man!"

--24:23 "Wait, 'The Thrill Is Gone' was a song by B.B. King, right? Right. Guess what? The thrill is gooonnnne. The thrill is gone awwwwaaaayyyyy. That's the feeling I get while reading this shit. Fuck, I don't even think John Solomon could stomach this shit."

--28:55 "I AM NO MINIBOSS TO SIMPLY CATS ASIDE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! You'll never take me alive, coppahs!"

--32:00 "No! The [not-]Real Doll dies! And she was a robot all along?" [excessive sobbing in background--Ed.]

--36:59 "Get me another bottle! I'm just getting drunk enough to laugh at this thing!"

--42:38 "Now a Naruto-ish woman wants to jump on his dick? Why have I not seen one panel of nudity to make up for all this shitty writing? At least John Joseco could deliver some hot lesbian sex in The Lounge. Oh, and that Pinkader, Pinkerton, Pink-whatever also wrote in the blog post below this comic:

omg it’s trista. she’s a friend I met on gaia XD most kissable lips on person i evar met i swear *0*

>> nice tits too >>;


Here, just smack my nuts with a 2x4, it's the only way I'll be able to get through with this review."

--43:09 "OWWWWWW! FUCK! MY NUTS ARE ON FIRE! GET ME A DOCTOR!"

--43:19 "Oh wait, I am a doctor! [inaudible] Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job. Gimme that 2x4 bitch! Gimme it now!"

[It was at this point that the tape recorder ran out of batteries. According to later interviews with Dr. Haus, he admitted that the art has gotten considerably better in Season 2, but the writing still sucks like a underaged, two-dollar whore with Chris Hansen watching nearby.

Apparently, the anime references, random Japanese language, and the two-dimensional females who were just there to jump on the male lead's dick were just too much for Dr. Haus to handle. However, upon recovery, he has prepared a statement:]


Yeah, I put in as much effort into writing this review as "Andeh" did with his comic. And here I thought Marilith was semi-exploitive, but at least Marilith had a plot, and it had women who didn't need to rip off anime tropes to fight. And at least they fought for something other than the privilege of sucking off the fatass male lead.

So, Andy, wanna know why I think this comic sucks aside from the above? Because you throw in several references to Japanese manga and anime at random, and then you don't even bother to parody them. As I said all the way back during my review of Bad Guy High, references alone do not make a humorous comic, you must take the reference and turn it upside down or else the humor is gone. You just use the references to reinforce the Gary Stu-ness of your main character.

Then again, you can just throw a ton of pop-culture references in your script and hope enough stupid people pay you to see it before they realize they've been swindled, if at all. But enough about every movie written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

Look, if pretty much the entire comic is about how every female character with big breasts wants to fuck the male lead character, then stop dicking around and turn it into an H-comic. Lord knows you can make money off of it, just look at John Joseco. But if you're going to make a harem comedy, you have to include some actual fucking "comedy." If you're going to parody the genre, then stop playing into the same fucking stereotypes and parody it already.

I just hope this was one giant-ass parody of a bad comic intended to piss the reader off so you can say you "did it for the lulz" like those folks behind Powerup Comics. Chances are you'll say it anyways even if, as I suspect, you really don't have any ability to write any characters outside of stomping flat every anime trope I can think of while you engage in blatant wish-fulfillment with your self-inserted character. Excuse me, in season two it's the semi-digital copy of a blue-haired boy created from the sperm that two of the [not-]Real Doll girls carried from the original Gary Stu of Chiitsu Pinkada who is now Emperor of Earth or some shit. No I am not fucking joking.

I'm sorry, you obviously understand Japanese, right? After all, you dropped "chan" and "san" and "nani" and all those words that people pick up after reading enough manga, so maybe I should spell it out for you in this way: お客様のウェブコミックは悪いですが、気を悪くしておいてください。

You're welcome.


UPDATE (3/31): It has been brought to my attention that the artist of this masterpiece, "Teh Andeh," has graced this humble blog with his presence to say that he did it for the lulz. Dr. Haus is unable to fully respond, as he is currently chugging a bottle of NyQuil and hoping for yet another bout of sickness to leave his body. However, it seems some of "Teh Andeh's" words were scrambled upon posting, and this is the best our team of translators could transcribe in response.

Also, Dr. Haus scribbled this down on a piece of paper before punching out:

I've officially reviewed almost 50 comics, and this one sparks the most nerd rage?

17 Comments:

  • Ha...it's rare to see a review where you have so many negative things to say about a comic. Oh well. Surprisingly, I've passed by this comic once or twice before, but never bothered reading it.

    By Anonymous Jason, at 11:18 AM  

  • you make some valid points about the comic. im a little unerved about all the gurren referencees in the comic, it gets annoying after a while ja? id like to see some originallity in it for once, i mean having big breasted girls is nice....i guess? but to have every single character with ginormous boobs? its ridiculous. it makes you come across as desperate for actual attention

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:57 PM  

  • I've read the comic a bit, and yeah, everything you said pretty much hits spot on unfortunately. I guess I just found it entertaining for the same reasons I watch Rosario + vampire (which is basically the same thing as this), just to let my brain fry.

    Maybe if he developed the new series into something less gary stu, it could be good. Maybe give the girls some depth (and a breast reduction or two =P). I dunno, Maybe I don't have the same negative sentiment (although, marathoning SP probably will do that too you if your looking for shake sphere in a webcomic), but I do see some potential here.

    Its like you said, ether go H, or do something a bit more productive. Maybe getting a bit more serious, and add some good character dynamics may heal some of these festering wounds, no? What do you think?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:09 PM  

  • yeah and learn to fucking spell out sentences that aren't leet speak please? I swear, if i wanted leet speak id just chat with my WOW buddies online, what makes you think i want to read it in a comic? Unless of course you're just copying the Megatokyo guys? Leet speak? Yeah great, its been done before by Megatokyo!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:08 PM  

  • You just gave this guy more hits than a red headed step child... Your review is very amusing though. I chuckled for a second.

    Think I'll stick around and see where he's going with the second season. Can't be any worse the load of shite on this website, eh?

    I'm a Shark,
    Suck my Dick

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:29 AM  

  • Personally, I very much enjoyed this comic. Granted, the plot is a bit... twisty at times (and completely disappears at others), alot of the jokes and refrences I personally found mildly ammusing at the least, and quite hilarious at most.

    Alot of the humor here is meant for people who spend the majority of their time on the internet, and when I say majority, I mean those people who spend HOURS upon HOURS on the internet; people who play Gaia, and all around general gamers. Not knowing you, I can't say for sure that your aren't any of these, but I can make an estimated guess and say that you aren't.

    Remember, the only opinion that anyone really cares about is their own.

    Slick, throwing in the Japanese, by the way.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:52 PM  

  • I'm not saying his comic is horrible or anything, but storyline-wise it leaves stuff to be desired as well as with overall character drawings, you could really try to at least to PUT some effort into drawing them instead of doing it so rushed that its hard to note a good drawing. And some originality please? Stop copying Gurren Lagann references. Yes it's a great anime, and full of manliness. Great, we get the point. But I mean you're ripping off that series by taking so many things from it and putting it all into your comic deeming it your own. You do that with Voltron, and just about any other classic Mech anime that has already been released. Now granted originality is scarce in comics these days, but it doesn't even seem like you're trying to do something epic at all. Artists usually want to make something never done before. All I see is you copying stuff from other things and not really any original ideas. And about the Japanese words. Are you just doing it because you think its cute? Yeah its cute when they do it in anime and when actual Japanese people do it. Not when you do it every single panel. And all these reasons are probably why I don't read the comic anymore.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:00 PM  

  • While stuff you may say may or may not be true, I have a feeling that this comic does provide entertainment, which when you think about everything, isn't that what we all really want? I mean I feel that I am entertained by his comic, I like the character designs, story might be a little hard to follow, but its enjoyable. I find the art style to be unique. And NOT copying too heavily on the japanese style that we know so well to exist. The commentary is occasionally whitty and humorous.

    And if any of you say, "ugh well his drawings suck," i'd like to see YOU do a full on web comic and make it extraordinary, you dumbasses! And if he does use some japanese words here and there so what?! Name me a manga book that has NO japanese words in it and I'll give you a cookie. Actually I won't since I'm a college student who can't afford cookies. xD

    Anyway I digress. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that if you're not entertained by this stuff, then you don't have to watch it. What pisses me off is the lot of you most likely haven't even read the whole damn first season let alone looked at the second season and yet you judge it like its the Bible or something. If you don't like it, then don't read it. But being a little bitch-whore about it makes the rest of us who DO like the comics want to pound you into the sun! Not unique enough? Psssh! Give me a break! It might have SOME references to other anime, but what comic parody doesn't? That's why they call it a PARODY! Dur!

    I swear the whole lot of you enjoy pointing out flaws in characters or something. Characters HAVE flaws, that's what makes them interesting! You wouldn't read the Superman comics if he won every single damn time would you? Hell no! That would just be boring as shite!

    I rest my case. I enjoy shonenpunk it makes me laugh, theres a lot of sexual inuendo stuff which i find humorous. And in creating a webcomic you attempt to strive to do better at drawing, storylines and so on and so forth, which is what Andeh has been doing, IN CASE YOU NUMBSKULLS were too stupid to notice! :P

    And if you're reading this Andeh, just know that you've created something that no one else has, and that's something that will be yours forever! Keep it up Bossman! xD

    By Blogger temarinyo, at 8:25 PM  

  • In response to Temarinyo, there are a few short points I'd like to make. Please don't take them personally, except where I personally attack you. Then take it personally all you want!

    The webcomic in question, "Shonen Punk," is pretty horrible. It lacks a plot, and when Mr. Pinkard does attempt one, he falls so far short of something that isn't two-dimensional and trite it leaps from laughable to sad. This webcomic is not extraordinary, and standing next to, say, Starslip Crisis, Something Positive, Looking For Group, Least I Could Do, Schlock Mercenary, Goodship Chronicles, or the now completed webcomics Suburban Tribe or Sexy Losers.

    Mr. Pinkard's webcomic displays a lack of understanding of the concept of suspension of disbelief, character development, and proper use of Japanese. To those of us who do speak the language it's a little irritating to see it poorly dropped into any setting. On another level, you at one point argue that his art doesn't succumb to the Japanese influence entirely. However it is styled after manga, ergo, should it not be in the Japanese style? Moreover you assert that art controls and influences aspects of grammar and writing, this being your justification for his use of pidgin Japanese, while at the same time praising Mr. Pinkard for going away from the Japanese style.

    Your own argument presents a paradox. I'm not trying to be a dick, but that totally and utterly wipes out any sort of credibility that shit has.

    Name me a manga book that has NO japanese words in it and I'll give you a cookie.

    Priest.

    But being a little bitch-whore about it makes the rest of us who DO like the comics want to pound you into the sun! Not unique enough? Psssh! Give me a break! It might have SOME references to other anime, but what comic parody doesn't? That's why they call it a PARODY! Dur!

    Now you just sound like a dick. Probably because you are. I really don't understand it--you're a college student. So one would assume there's a level of maturity and intelligence you're supposed to have, what with being in college. So far you've only shown you can disregard the points made--that this webcomic is tired and trite--and interpret it as a long series of people saying, "This comic sucks. Blah. We're mine."

    And by the way? Saying, "Dur," like that is bullshit. It's a prejudiced reference to the developmentally disabled, dickwad. You shouldn't be trying to call someone else stupid, or overly dismissive, if you yourself at the same time are dismissive of a large group of viable humans. Hello? Are you thinking? Is there something going on inside your head?

    You are equating people disliking Shonen Punk to someone who has mental disability.

    Are you the one with the mental disability, you asshole?

    By Blogger Pyg_Man, at 2:07 PM  

  • @pyg man

    just to let u all realize cuz yer pretty stupid for caringXD the pidgeon japanese i used was lame i know that now. but back then when i just discovered the internet and megatokyo i was foolish enough to emulate what i saw and did it poorly.

    there's a plot. If you havent realized veltar is after chii then your a fool and just like to skip important parts.

    alittle bit of information for you shonen punk season 1 was in fact and improv comic plotted out but never written till the day it was uploaded. its aself parody if you hadn't picked up on that your a complete idiot. i don't take my self serious why do you? go read some Noam Chomsky if you want to read words of importance.

    have fun dipshits suck a cock
    :D this review made me laugh.

    By Anonymous Andeh, at 3:18 PM  

  • @ andeh

    Suck a fat cock, you nerd bitch. How about you get down on your knees and learn a little about writing, dumbfuck? Next how about we take a round at perspective, motherfucker. Your webcomic sucks.

    And, apparently, not only is your webcomic bullshit, but so are you, asswipe. How about you go and peddle your overly derivative crap to a group of virgins?

    Oh, wait.

    You are.

    By Blogger Pyg_Man, at 11:23 PM  

  • Not to sound, er pickish... But Pyg_Man... Aren't you just as "nerdy" as he is? Aren't you all?

    I mean for fucks sakes! You're sitting here bitching up a storm about how much this webcomic actually sucks. How much more nerdy can you get?

    Now, I'm not saying I'm any better, as I'm defending it, but STILL. Is this how you validate yourself? By calling down a guy who's doing something because he enjoys it? How fucking childish is that shit?

    You're all entitled to your opinions. I'll give you that. And The few of you intelligent enough to actually point out what you see as faults without acting like a fucking asshat, I applaud you.

    Thanks for reading. :D

    Kam

    By Anonymous Kam, at 1:19 PM  

  • @pyg man

    LULZ

    By Anonymous andeh, at 6:14 AM  

  • Seeing how this has turned into a miniature shitstorm, Ill see if I can try and make some sense of all of this. As it stands, this is a "review" of a semi popular web comic, Specifically Shonen punk (stop me If I fault). So If this is a review, then is it not about sharing a opinion about the comic itself? Then by that logic, Pig is in the right, no matter how negative it may sound (It could be more constructive with criticism I think, sorta like what Anon 2nd did).

    Pink's comic ain't too horrible, but I will admit it could use most of the things that pig has mentioned along with some of the other notes mentioned. Plot could have used toning, Characters could have used depth, and the girls could have used a few B-reductions (as anon 2nd said).

    Finally, I'm not angry or upset after reading SP (I only checked out the second half of season one, briefly skimmed the first half, sorry). Ill say yes, it needs work, but since this is one guys hobby (which he does for free) I wont complain that much against him, since it's his choice on what to do, and HIS choice whether he listens to these reviews or not. Heres hoping he does though.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:33 PM  

  • yeah cuz you know i was totally going for that. the whole comment i left was meant as a joke...geez lighten up people -_-

    By Blogger temarinyo, at 12:40 PM  

  • Apparently the site has been taken over by porn spammers, so the whole argument on this page seems pretty moot in hindsight.

    Amusingly, they left the banner just as it was.

    By Blogger Diogenes, at 3:04 AM  

  • haha hi Andeh here, for teh sake of letting this lovely review being srta accurate. we had to move the comic over here


    for the record, this review still makes me LOL. I did learn alot from this and other reviews, I started writing scripts and stuff. hopefully its less retarded.

    Cheers♥

    By Anonymous Andeh, at 7:18 PM  

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